You know, there’s been a term floating around in my head for the better part of the year: you can’t chase ghosts.
The reason this has been stuck in my head is because I’ve had relationships with people that ended very abruptly, without any clear reason. My problem is that I love these people, and the feeling doesn’t seem to be mutual.
That’s the part that hurts.
No, this isn’t some creepy stalker thing. This is about coming to grips with the fact that sometimes family members don’t want to be your family anymore, and you have to learn how to deal with that.
This morning, I was going through my Google backup of pictures, and I made the conscious decision to remove all the pictures of these people from my phone. I kept running into the same problem: I would open my phone, come across one of those pictures, and immediately be filled with sadness.
It feels like a scab that keeps getting ripped open, never giving the wound a chance to heal.
I don’t think that’s particularly healthy. But I’m no professional. I’m just a guy who makes dick and fart jokes.
I wish there were a way to have closure that wasn’t so final. I know I’m asking for things to go both ways, and I understand that’s not always possible. That’s not the reality we live in.
Does understanding that make it hurt any less?
No.
But despite everything, I genuinely wish them all the best. I hope they have nothing but success and happiness in their lives. In fact, believe it or not, I pray for them daily. I pray that they’re doing well.
I’m sure it would probably make them upset to know that I pray for them, considering their personal stance on organized religion and their moral ambiguity. But still, I do.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Because sometimes we just need an outlet to say the things that are inside of us.
Maybe writing this is my way of letting go. Maybe it’s my way of accepting that some people are going to leave your life, whether you’re ready for it or not.
You can’t chase ghosts.
Sometimes, all you can do is remember the good times, wish them well, and keep moving forward.
Thank you for taking the three seconds to read this.
Even if you didn’t want to, we’ve just become a little closer.
Can’t Chase Ghosts..
